tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57340816203289352362024-03-07T19:20:33.830-08:00Salt & VinegarAlan Mairsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00914541016181505845noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5734081620328935236.post-55339362321124614782008-01-24T18:25:00.000-08:002008-01-24T21:03:22.609-08:00Disgusting Is What's On Top, and Disgusting Is What It Is<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Lemon, Pear, Pomegranate, </span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Apple, Kiwi, Lime & Onion Soup</span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;font-size:130%;" >Gateau</span><br />A recipe by Caleb<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">(for a school assignment on the meaning of "balderdash")</span><br /></div><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ingredients</span>:<br /> 15 lemons<br /> 15 pears<br /> 15 pomegranates<br /> 15 apples<br /> 15 kiwis <br /> 15 limes<br /> 50 eggs<br /> 100 cups of flour<br /> 20 cups water<br /> 75 cups of salt<br /> 50 cups of onion soup with melted cheese<br /> booger green food coloring<br /> 20 cups chopped up skunk glands<br /> 15 cups of soap<br /> 3 tubes of minty toothpaste<br /> 20 cups of ghost crystals<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Things you will need:</span><br /> 4 very big bowls<br /> fruit peeler<br /> a big knife<br /> a blender<br /> a cutting board<br /> hammer & chisel<br /> nose plug<br /> a very big cake pan<br /> a very big oven<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How to make it:<br /><br /></span>Take off all the fruit skins with a peeler, and put the skins into bowl #1. Cut all the fruit up, and put it in bowl #2. Put the fruit in the blender in shifts. Push the buttons: <span style="font-style: italic;">Stir… puree… whip… grate… mix… chop… blend. </span>When the fruit is done blending, put it in bowl #3. Do the same with the skins, except don’t blend; stop at “chop.” Put the chopped skins in an bowl #4 .<br /><br />Preheat oven to 300 degrees.<br /><br />Crack all 50 eggs into bowl #1. Dump all 100 cups of flour into the same bowl. Dump in 75 cups of salt. Add all the onion soup & cheese. Mix with hands until it is like stinky, cheesy dough.<br /><br />Put 20 cups of water in bowl #2. Add soap and booger green food coloring to bowl #2. Put on nose plug (and don’t take off until you’re done eating). Then add chopped up skunk glands. Pour contents of bowl #2 into blender. Press “whip” and “mix” until it’s like booger green whipped cream. Pour back into bowl #2. Put into fast-freezing freezer for 4 hours.<br /><br />Wait 2 hours.<br /><br />Take contents of bowl #1 and pour into very big cake pan. Add contents of bowl #3 and then #4 into the very big cake pan.<br /><br />Put very big cake pan in very big oven and bake for 1 hour 30 minutes. Cake should be golden brown, or not. Skins will be a color, but right now that color is unknown. Same with the fruit flesh. Remove from oven and put the very big cake pan on a very big table.<br /><br />Take bowl #2 out of freezer. Use hammer and chisel to crack up ice. Spread broken bits of ice on top of cake. Squeeze toothpaste over the top of icy cake; spread evenly with chisel.<br /><br />If you want to, use the chisel and hammer to spell something out.<br /><br />Dust the top with ghost crystals.<br /><br />Eat and enjoy… or else! (I know where you live!)<br /><br />----------------<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Serves</span>: It depends. If the person is starving, he might throw up 15 cups. If the person isn’t starving, he’ll throw up a maximum of 35 cups.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Calories</span>: Do you really want to know?<br /><br />καλή όρεξη (that's Greek for <span style="font-style: italic;">bon appétit;</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">bon appétit</span> is French for happy eating!)Alan Mairsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00914541016181505845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5734081620328935236.post-52683294431668675112008-01-23T16:34:00.000-08:002008-01-23T16:43:46.373-08:00The REAL Kakakakaka!!….. Yaaaahhhhh!!!! ….. BOOOOOOM!!!Here is the real <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Kakakakaka!!….. Yaaaahhhhh!!!! ….. BOOOOOOM!!!</span> post that I sent to the editor at National Geographic. The stuff that is <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">RED</span> is the stuff he took out.<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop Omnivore:</span> What is Medabots all about?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb: </span>It’s about a boy named Ikki Tenryo who doesn’t have a robot fighter like all the other kids in school. One day a gang of thugs comes and challenges his friend Erika to a robo-battle, but she doesn’t take the challenge. So Ikki runs to a shop that sells Megabots and buys a very old robot because he couldn’t afford the new kind. Ikki names his robot Metabee—for metal beetle. Metabee is especially strong and powerful because of the special medal that Ikki put into him. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">(The medal is like the brain and soul of the robot.)</span> In most of Ikki’s adventures, he <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">does not </span>end up <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">in a fist fight, but</span> a robattle where Metabee fights another robot until one of them isn’t functioning anymore. <span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">They fight. One robot wins. </span>Next episode, please.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Do you like the show?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: It’s okay. On a scale of 1 to 10, I’d give it a 3 or 4, maximum 5.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: What’s the coolest part of the show?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: When a metafighter—a person—beats somebody, they get part of their opponent’s robot’s body.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: What’s the lamest part?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Probably the bad guys. They steal rare and powerful medals, and they have Medabots that aren’t that good. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: What special powers do Medabots have?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Here are some Medabot powers:<br />- They can shoot bullets out of their arms.<br />- They can swing chains with balls at the end and wallop their opponent.<br />- They can shoot gravity beams that can pin you down to the ground.<br />- They can fight with swords.<br />- They have cape shields that protect them from bullets.<br />- They can shock their opponents with electric shock.<br />- They can talk to people.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Can real robots do all those things today?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: I thought you would ask me that, so I emailed questions to a man named Dr. Rodney Brooks. He is a Professor of Robotics at a school called MIT. This is what Dr. Brooks told me: “Some robots can talk to people today, though not as naturally as two people talking together. If they wanted to, they could make robots shoot bullets from their arms and shock people with something like a taser. But some of the other things would require a change in the laws of physics as we know them. Don’t expect gravity beams to be built by a bunch of engineers.”<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: What will robots be able to do in 20 years?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Dr. Brooks told me that in 20 years or so there will probably be robots that help old people around the house so they can stay in their home longer. I think he means that robots might do the laundry, make dinner, go to the grocery store, walk the dog, feed the dog, make the beds, and stuff like that.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Would you like your own Medabot?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Yes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: What power would you want your Medabot to have?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: The power to do my homework. I’d make him invincible. He’d also be able to turn himself into fire and water. And he’ll be able to shoot lighting, make a plant grow, and throw someone with a gravity force field. Also, maybe you could use a Medabot to download all the math facts from zero to ten into your head.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: How much is 8 times 7?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: 56.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop:</span> Would you like to live in a world where people could instantaneously download math facts and other information from the Internet directly into their brains?<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: No.<br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Why not?<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: You’d get bored. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Doesn’t this TV series remind you of a game you used to play?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Yes. It reminds me of Pokemon. The characters cry the same, are drawn the same. And the story is the same. They have fights, and go Kakakakaka!!….. Yaaaahhhhh!!!! ….. BOOOOOOM!!!<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pop</span>: Do you think it would be good to have robots fight your battles—and all battles—so people wouldn’t fight any more wars? </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caleb</span>: Medabots don’t hurt humans, so at first you’d think people wouldn’t get hurt and there might be world peace. But think of this example: Japan wants to take over America. They send in a bunch off Medabots, but America doesn’t send out any Medabots to fight. The Medabots from Japan think the American Medabots are hiding, so they start blowing things up. They start a forest fire, lots of forest fires. And the firemen can’t put them all out, so it spreads all over the United States. Then all over North America. And slowly the world turns into the new sun. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">So sure, I guess that would be peaceful. It also would be very hot—the world’s biggest bar-b-q!</span><br /><br /></blockquote>Alan Mairsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00914541016181505845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5734081620328935236.post-13076416986449434422008-01-23T12:24:00.000-08:002008-01-23T13:04:48.642-08:00Two Experts Answer My Questions About RobotsI have a blog post on the National Geographic web site. It's about a TV series called <span style="font-style: italic;">Medabots</span>. <a href="http://ngm.typepad.com/pop_omnivore/2008/01/kakakakaka-yaaa.html">Check it out!</a><br /><br />To have the right answers for that interview, I emailed some questions to two professors who know a lot about robots. I asked them five questions. Here are their answers.<br /><br />The first man is named <a href="http://people.csail.mit.edu/brooks/">Dr. Rodney Brooks</a>. He teaches at MIT. First I told him some of the things that Medabots can do:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"> - They can shoot bulllets out of their arms.<br />- They can swing chains with balls at the end and whallop their opponent.<br />- They can shoot gravity beams that can pin you down to the ground.<br />- They can fight with swords.<br />- They have cape shields that protect them from bullets.<br />- They can shock their opponents with electric shock.<br />- They can talk to people.</blockquote>Then I asked Dr. Brooks my questions:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Question #1: Can real robots do all these things today?</span><br /><br />Some robots can talk to people today, though not as naturally as two people talking together. If people wanted to they could make robots shoot bullets from their arm and to shock people with something like a taser. But some of the other things would require a change in the laws of physics as we know them -- don't expect gravity beams to be built by a bunch of engineers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Question #2: By the 22nd century, do you think will robots be able to do these things? What other things will robots be able to do in 100 years?</span><br /><br />I think that all except the gravity beams are plausible, but I would like to build robots that do good things for people rather than fight them. And I think in the next twenty years or so you are going to see lots of developments in robots to help the elderly live longer in their homes--when your dad is old he'll probably have a few robots around the house helping out.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #3: If you could, would you create Medabots? But before you answer this, think of the consequences: People would be walking around with their Medabots shooting bullets at each other. Bill Gates could research a way to make Medabots attack humans. Then, Bill Gates buys all the Medabots, and he takes over the world.</span><br /><br />I'm much more interested in making robots that help people--as is Bill Gates.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Question #4: What robot powers would you like to have?</span><br /><br />I'd like to be maintain my strength and eyesight--both of which are getting worse as I get older--I think in 20 years or so we'll start to see robotic implants to help people with these things (there are already implants available to help people hear--computers under their scalp and connections into the Cochlea).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Question #5: Why do people like robots? Why do YOU like robots?</span><br /><br />I first started trying to build robots when I was 8 or 9 years old. I've never given up. I like to build machines that do things, completely by themselves. I'm having way too much fun doing it!!</blockquote>Dr. Brooks also said this:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Caleb,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Don't forget to build some robots yourself--Lego is a good place to start!</span></blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />I also emailed questions to <a href="http://www.cs.cmu.edu/%7Emason/">Dr. Matt Mason</a>. He is the main person at the <a href="http://www.ri.cmu.edu/">Robotics Institute</a> at Carnegie Mellon University. Here's what he said:<br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #1: Can real robots do all these things today? </span><br /><br />No.<br /> Bullets out of arms: no. There are a few robots that shoot bullets, by having a special gun attached.<br /> Chains with balls at the end. No, but we could probably do it.<br /> Gravity beams: No, and we don't know how to do it.<br /> Swords: No, again.<br /> Cape shields: no. Shields: yes. Some military robots are built with armor to deflect some types of weapons.<br /> Electric shock: Not sure. I believe there may be some security guard robots equipped with Tasers.<br /> Talk to people: Yes!!! I'm glad we can do at least one of these things.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #2: By the 22nd century, do you think will robots be able to do these things? What other things will robots be able to do in 100 years? </span><br /><br />We could do most of those things now. Since anybody can build robots, I think we will see all of those things within maybe 10 years, except for gravity beams.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #3: If you could, would you create Medabots? But before you answer this, think of the consequences: People would be walking around with their Medabots shooting bullets at each other. Bill Gates could research a way to make Medabots attack humans. Then, Bill Gates buys all the Medabots, and he takes over the world. </span><br /><br />I would build them for fun, to fight each other.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #4: What robot powers would you like to have? </span><br /><br />Strength, I suppose. So far, human bodies and brains are way better, so I do not envy robots.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Question #5: Why do people like robots? Why do YOU like robots? </span><br /><br />I think it is because they are like people, but different. If you think machines can be like people, then it seems anything could be possible. They could be immortal. They could think faster. They could be unselfish and clean up our rooms for us. Or, if you have a darker outlook, they could be merciless and powerful, and we might end up cleaning up their rooms for them.<br /><br />I like them because it is a way of exploring scientific questions. What is purpose, where does it come from, can machines be independent, how can a human or a machine understand the world around him, and so forth.<br /><br />Hope this helps!<br />-- Matt<br /></blockquote><br />Thank you, Dr. Brooks!<br />Thank you, Dr. Mason!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Tenha um dia agradável </span>(That's Portuguese for "have a nice day.")Alan Mairsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00914541016181505845noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5734081620328935236.post-35487821565472405362008-01-21T17:48:00.000-08:002008-01-21T18:21:36.860-08:00My first postHi! My name is Caleb, and I am going to blog about the Boston Red Sox, baseball, school, politics, knots, basketball, the kind of stuff you might see in tabloids, salt & vinegar potato chips (I like them), and other things.<br /><br />Please check this blog often. Or please subscribe to my Atom feed!<br /><br />さようなら (that's Japanese for "good bye").Alan Mairsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00914541016181505845noreply@blogger.com4